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At the risk of becoming crude, I would like to delve into the arena of public restrooms this month and my observations concerning them. Fortunately, there are plenty of them and they serve us well. We should be grateful.

When I was a small lad, I always enjoyed using the hand dryer which is commonplace in McDonald's restrooms across the country. (No, I'm not being corporately sponsored.) They were fun to use as a child, but sometimes as an adult, I find them irritating. Sometimes they're too cool and sometimes they automatically shut off before my hands are dry and I'm required to press the button multiple times. It defeats the purpose of having a machine which is supposed to be more sanitary than paper towels if you have to touch it repeatedly. See what I mean? Besides, with so many unsanitary things in a public restroom (toilet handles, sinks with knobs, soap dispensers, paper towel holders with cranks on the side, door handles, etc.), why bother? Your hands are dirtied as you wash them. Why dry them like that?

Alas, in this wonderful technologically advanced world in which we live, there may be a solution to our problems. If we can harness the power of these wonderful new automated devices modeled after the wall-mounted hand dryer we may have a chance at complete satisfaction. As long as we use them wisely. Let me illustrate what I mean.

One such machine is the motion-activated toilet flusher. That's awesome. You walk away...swish! Completely hands free. Next, is the same idea with the sink and soap dispenser. You put your hands under the faucet and woosh, there's the water - for as long as you hold your hands under the spout. Place your hands under the soap dispenser and squish, there's the soap. Beautiful. On to the automated hand dryer or motion-activated paper towel dispenser for the finishing touches. (As you exit, hopefully you'll find a door that either pushes out or there's no door at all - which only works in some unique situations. If there's a knob or handle to pull on the exit door, hold on to that paper towel for coverage. Then you're in business.)

So what would compel me to cover such a personal topic this month? I'll tell you why.

Scenario One: I was in a public restroom the other day that had all of the modern amenities which I have discussed EXCEPT it had the old crank-'er-up handle on the side of the paper towel dispenser. I don't believe it. Why not go all the way? As Jim Hamill would say, "If you're going to do it, do it."

Scenario Two: Just a few days later, I was in another restroom which had the old-fashioned touch and flush, sink knobs, soap dispenser and then, the motion-activated paper towel dispenser. That's like giving up sixteen runs to the opposing team and hitting a grand slam in the 9th. Too little...too late. These two venues should have teamed up for the perfect bathroom.

Seriously, I do not have any obsessive compulsive disorder or anything close to that. I just pay really close attention to the things that don't really matter.

Join me next time for "Have you had peanut M & M's with a rotten peanut inside that thick candy shell? Not nice."

Official disclaimer: This column expresses the views owned solely by Bradley Littlejohn, not Paid In Full or Sogospelnews.com. So if you've got a beef, e-mail Bradley. But don't think for a minute that you can discourage me by punching holes in my arguments. And one other thing, I offer only observations. No real solutions. I don't think that far in advance.

Reader Comments

Bradley, I'm glad to find out that I'm not the only one who thinks about these things.

I'm not obsessive-compulsive, either. But, I don't think you have to be OC to make sure that you're being sanitary.

Technology aside, I've learned that the right ritual for exiting a bathroom is:

-- roll out your paper towels FIRST
-- wash your hands with soap and water
-- leave the water running
-- grab the paper towels that you rolled out
-- dry your hands
-- use the paper towel to turn off the water
-- open the door with the paper towel
-- hold door with foot and toss paper to trash
-- exit!

There! And, just so we can make this an SGM post, I learned that by being in too many public bathrooms when I was traveling and playing. LOL

Tony

By the way, it says “Working Hard” over my picture.
That’s actually not true.  I rarely work hard. 

TonyRush.com

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