A major confession, Vol. 2…
Since my last blog entry about how I loathe sports was such a big hit, I decided that it was indeed time for another major confession in my life.
Most of my closest friends in life already know this about me (much like the sports issue), but I figured that it was time that even my acquaintances got acquainted (get it?) with this aspect of my life. You never know when we're going to need this information or when we will be together again - so this tidbit about my life may come into play later down the road.
Are you ready for it? You know you want to keep reading...
I. HATE. THE. BEACH.
I know. I can hear you all gasping in disbelief all the way around the world (yes, I have MySpace friends all the way around the world. What up, Adam?) I know it is hard to believe that I would hate something that so many people love and enjoy. Most people I know love the beach and love to spend their vacation around some beach or coastal area. That's great. Have at it.
Here are some reasons that I'm none to fond of the beach...
1. I can't walk on the beach. For those of you with solid ankles and good muscles in you feet - this isn't an issue. For someone like me who has trouble standing on solid ground, much less walking across uneven ground, it's pretty much torture.
2. It's too hot. Yes, I know what you're saying - "it's not that hot, and if you do get hot, you can just do a hop, skip, and jump over to the water." Well - first, I can't walk on the beach, so that kind of defeats the purpose. Second, for someone like me who thinks camping is staying at the Holiday Inn, being in the sun is too hot whether it's 70 degrees or 107 degrees. Third, I can't stand in the water. Which bring me to my third reason for hating the beach...
3. I can't just stand in the ocean and watch the waves. Now you think I'm being unreasonable. Perhaps - but this brings me back to my first point. With someone who has no balance on solid ground, is it that much of a stretch to understand that the waves and the water at my feet going in opposite directions makes me dizzy? I didn't think so. If I want to stand in the ocean, I have to turn around and face the beach, which we all know isn't a pleasant experience most of the time. Which brings me to point four...
4. Everybody thinks they look good at the beach, when in reality, only .01% of the people at the beach actually look good. Don't bother arguing this point. You know I'm right. And don't think you're a part of that .01% either. You're not.
5. Sand gets everywhere. Again, another point you can't argue. When I go the beach it feels like I'm finding sand in places I never even knew existed - plus I'm finding it for days. Who likes that?
So come one - who else out there hates the beach? I know I'm not the only one. You all hate it too, I just helped you realize it.
That's all for now, kiddos. Have fun.
P.S. I actually went to a hockey game with some friends a couple weeks back and actually enjoyed myself. I may have to make an addendum to my post about hating sports.
Posted on Mar 09, 2008 - 02:47 PM | [1]
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I do however love the smell of the salt water.
About 10 years ago I took a friend to the beach to see the ocean while we were in Southern California. He had never seen it before. We walked out on a pier and stayed about five minutes. That was was enjoyble. I never touched the sand.